December 28th

old faces return

wind scored by sixty winters

wretched gathering

December 14th

their generation

falls, hears the happy laughter

in the lemon groves

December 8th

The city evolves

I’m a phantom, out of phase

flickering, fading

 

the blur of colour

conveyored faces and smiles

I don’t recognise

 

laughter and music

I’m backed into the corner

eternal voyeur

 

Last night, I felt old, out of place, slightly out of sync with modern times, phased out, not quite material, flickering like a busted telly standing in the corner. I was out in Islington, a few friends, after the Arsenal match. We went for a meal of tapas followed by a few drinks. I guess we chose the wrong pub!

October 11th

the old hand traces

frail outlines in the wood grain

a kiss in the fields

We went to the Edvard Munch exhibition at the Tate. I love his work. I’m planning to write a longer review on my other blog, so I wont linger on such terms as ‘melancholy’ and ‘troubled’, but suffice to say I’m so glad we caught the tail end of this beautiful exhibition.

There were some incredible pieces of work there, but the one which moved me the most was perhaps a modest piece Munch worked on in the last few months of his life, he was 80 at the time. In 1943 he made a woodcut called “Kiss in the Field”. As was Munch’s style, it was a title and motif/style he’d repeated over the decades of his career. But this one was so feint as to almost be invisible, the grain of the wood was prominent, the spectral outline of the image just about recognisable amongst the powerful shapes within the wood itself. I could imagine his frail old hands working. It made me feel sad.

(photo I took from the exhibition catalogue)

September 10th

 

I remembered the

long shadows racing across

the shingle shoreline

faded photographs

the certainty of old age

disenchanted hearts

August 20th

running through woodland

a sheen on once supple limbs

in cooling drizzle

April 12th

 

It’s more important

to show compassion and love

kindness is magic

 

I watched Ricky Gervais’ new pilot, set in an old peoples home. His character Derek (also the name of the show) is a gentle, middle aged man with learning difficulties who works there. It seems to have divided opinion between those who hated it and rated it. Some reviewers have given it a mauling, because of the controversial subject matter, but also, I think, in part because for some, Gervais is unpalatable. Somehow insincere or perceived as churning out the same fly on the wall mocumentaries.

Yes, Gervais can be annoying… but, I disagree with the negative reviews, the subject matter is dark and although there are some slapstick elements, it’s not overtly a comedy and doesn’t disrespect Derek or people with learning difficulties. It didn’t dilute any love you feel for Derek or how much you end up rooting for him and caring for him. In half an hour, you are totally on Derek’s side. Gervais for all his cringe making comedy creates characters with warmth, who you really empathise with. They feel real, they aren’t saving the world, they don’t claim to be heroes, they are just normal people, trying to get on, with the same fears and doubts as the rest of us.

When Derek’s favourite resident, Joan, passed away, after he’d gone out to buy her a lottery ticket and a scratchcard, I was choked up, fighting back the tears. He was so delighted that she’d won £10, only to find out she had died. With shaking hands he put her winnings in her purse and spent some poignant moments with her. The best bit of writing and acting in the episode for me was when an emotional Derek reminisced about Joan. It looked like his tears were real.

Derek said “She said 'Kindness is magic Derek, its more important to be kind, than clever or good looking.' I'm not clever or good looking, but I am kind.”

There was something so desperately lonely about Derek. So wanting to be loved and accepted. So yes, Kindness is Magic.